according to the orlando sentinel, some enraged drunken orange county heathen decided to gas up a bottle molotov style and bomb his neighbor’s trailer. this would have been an amazing incendiary start to another perfect trailer trash weekend, except that the wind shifted and he ended up setting his own two cars, a pickup, and a travel trailer on fire instead. police are assuming that alcohol was involved along with some good old fightin’-and-a-feudin’ between the 51 year old man and the poor bastard next door.
now i don’t have a lot to go on, so i’m going to try and set the scene here. billy bo-bob is pissed at cletis, so rather than do the obvious thing and pop him with the old knuckle guns, he runs off into his redneck lair and begins formulating a demise for his neighbor that involves the use of chemicals, breakables, and open flames in an area full of cardboard boxes with shingles on top. don’t get me wrong, i’ve always considered the molotov cocktail to be a rather elegant weapon (i’m fond of russians, you know, like milla jovovich), but tossimg molly’s in what basically amounts to a neighborhood built of kindling requires one to either circumvent or simply not have the mental capacity to stop drooling.
our hero has been arrested and charged with arson, among other things. so should he see jail time for setting his own modicum of squalor ablaze with such ferocity? unfortunately when it comes to drunken droolers like this, we have to lock them down. you see when it comes to this kind of thing, if they were dumb enough to do it the first time, they are probably too stupid to think its a really bad idea next time. sure, that could be said of a lot of things. however, a lot of things don’t involve gasoline, fire, and paper houses on wheels.