the archives
you’re probably here because you’re looking for older posts. it’s a long list, so have a browse. if you still can’t find what you’re looking for, try the search box.
may 2012
US officially declares war on doing what you want with what you already own
A bill passed unanimously in Washington today that will keep US citizens from actually owning anything at all, but more importantly, it will keep the nefarious citizenry from engaging in do-it-yourself modifications to items they have purchased.
april 2012
new study confirms that people are incapable of not consuming the entire sidewalk
Although commonly suspected by millions of Americans already, the idea that groups of self serving assholes on their lunch breaks experience an imperative and desperate need to not have anyone walking directly in front of them was only just proven today by a team of high-fiving Sunny-D guzzling clipboard mongers in white coats.
the complete history of the easter holiday
i thought it was time somebody sat down and explained the jesus rabbit thing.
february 2012
the chilling effects of modern social media on free speech
or, as an alternate title, "why i can't post whatever i damn well please"; my state of the net address relating to social posting and blogging.
october 2011
e-stalker: the rest of the story
Recently I posted an open letter to my e-stalker that was in retort to his/her many creative and harassing emails to myself and my ex. However, those emails are only part of the story.
a letter to my e-stalker
Enclosed find my public retort to your private shenanigans concerning my public information. Don't worry, I stay relatively civil. I'm interested in a dialog with you. Maybe you could email from an actual account?
september 2011
the irrelevancy of sexual orientation
Entirely too much focus has been given to the sexual orientation of people by the media. It is my opinion that a person's sexual orientation is irrelevant beyond the boundaries of the relationship that the person is in. Unfortunately, very few people seem to feel this way. Unfortunately there are still fag hating cross burning bigots out there who give us reason to glorify the fact that two guys are are in love. You know, in the name of equal rights and all that.
july 2011
rotten to the core: apple store customer service
Somehow I managed to get what I wanted and be made to feel like some kind of sub-species at the same time. Customer service shouldn't be like this.
april 2011
episode 11 : just want my multiplayer, bro
sometimes you just want some answers. doesn't everyone?
gentlemen: stand up for your fruit juice and liquor
dudes! stand of your fruit & liquor! chix think they got this shit all t themselves! fuck that!
episode 10 : the waiting game
sometimes waiting around can be a messy affair
march 2011
etsy screws the privacy pooch
yet another site goes social with no consideration to its users' privacy
episode 9 : lousy documentation
sometimes you should expect more from people
february 2011
episode 8 : the longcat summoning
questions, answers, online deities... the eight installment of the comic about the cat food factory
episode 7 : fall of felinix
the drama continues at the shiny cat cat food factory
episode 6 : felinix
in this latest installment we learn that sometimes we get things from places we shouldn't have.
i need a name for this damned comic
several episodes into this thing and i still don't have a name for it.
the comic about the cat food factory
in here i give a little background about the comic. don't expect spoilers. i have as much of an idea where this wild ride is going to take us as you do.
episode 5 : quality control glitch
its the best damn cat food around. if we can get it out the door.
why steve jobs will never be replaced as ceo of apple
endure my perfectly reasonable explanation of why apple will never post a succession plan on their site and why steve will remain ceo until the sun explodes.
january 2011
episode 4 : just give me numbers
why live in reality when we can live in positivity instead?
the new sony handheld will slap your grandma
loaded with insane specs and awesome features. hopefully sony won't screw this up.
net neutrality isn't going to murder anything
the media has done a horrible job as usual. do you even know what this is about?
episode 3 : ridiculous demands
statistics leave no room for relationships at the cat food factory
episode 2 : rude awakening
all good things must come to an end, even at the cat food factory.
episode 1 : email from management
our hero receives an extraordinary email in this first installment of his story at the shiny cat cat food factory.
december 2010
the hunt for shoes is on
yes, i'm going to talk about shoes. this does not make me a homosexual. porking a man would make me a homosexual. a dirge into footwear does not.
august 2010
the real problem with your computer... is you
stop treating your computer like a piece of trash and you might actually get what you want out of it.
netflix puts jack bauer in my pocket
netflix has got their streaming client everywhere, including where ever the hell i am at the moment.
playstation phone rumors
this could be exactly what i've been waiting for, or it could be an epic psp go style fail. we'll have to wait until october to find out.
july 2010
steve jobs bitch slaps the press
well, sort of. antennagate continues with the latest from apple's iron fisted leader of doom.
top ten reasons bacteria are better than you
long haired boy explores the myriad reasons why a group of single celled non-sentient organisms is superior to the human race
june 2010
how to make strawberry jello bombs
this is not the typical jello shot. this shot will $#!@ you up. i'm just sayin'. details inside.
predators to begin alien hunt in guatamala
orbiting predator ships have begun tunneling to an underground alien breeding chamber in preparation for an upcoming hunting event
build your own guitar using popsicle sticks
around 2000 of them in fact, along with some other rather unusual ingredients
may 2010
patiently waiting for the new iphone
that is if my current iphone can just hang on a little while longer. we all know the new iphone is coming soon, the real question is will the tape on my first gen iphone hold out that long.
how requiring id for prepaid phone purchases will destroy the economy
the useless reactive measures continue to flow in the wake of terror and threaten to collapse the country's financial infrastructure.
do it yourself, its more fun that way
sometimes fixing your own car can pay off. eventually. after the refunds for the wrong parts hit your bank.
one step closer to futuristic cybernetic implants
scientists have found a way to bridge the gap between electronics and your nerves. hello motoko.
the ipad: most abused product of 2010, popular with cats
its been smashed, skated on, blended, and pawed at. in other words, well received by the net-verse.
search terms don't lie: how people got here
prepare yourself for a glimpse into the minds of my audience as i explore the search terms that bring people here.
april 2010
library of congress is now archiving twitter. all of it.
the library of congress plans to archive every single tweet ever made. the idea is simply maddening.
pixels
parisian firm One More Production stimulates my inner geek with this crazy awesome video
dentist uses paper clips in root canals
who cares if we use paper clips instead of medical grade parts? its not like anyone will notice.
xbox 360 usb storage out. and lame.
now! you can expand your storage! with ridiculous limitations!
my immediate reaction to the iPad
my personal first impressions of the ipad. and by first impressions, i mean really shallow ones.
sony decides we don't need linux on the ps3
it only does everything. except that.
march 2010
st augustine beach
these shots were taken late in the day at the beautiful st augustine beach.
robot gets kicked apart, reassembles itself
it disassembles, reassembles, stands up, and face plants. and blinks a lot.
wakooz.com - wtf?
need everything social in one browser window? have a thing for start pages? hate your eyes?
breaking hearts with liquid nitrogen
breaking hearts is easy when you freeze them before slamming them on the floor.
bling up the flu season golden child style
why look like a broke ass cracker when your sick? bling up your swine flu with this golden mask.
hats and apples
more etsy product shots: hand made hats modeled by the hand maker.
hanging around in the kitchen
how to take action shots.. of hand towels. another addition to the etsy product collection.
etsy on the rocks
product photography featuring rocks, handmade items, and simulated outdoor lighting
mysql: writing a save query, with a twist
i'm going to show you how to do the typical insert/update statement useful in a a lot of web apps, but with a slight twist.
the bioshock little sister gathering ring
once again, etsy has something you never knew you couldn't live without.
stupid fast page scanner grabs flipping pages
and it does it at over 200 pages per minute
scientists pull electricity from algae using photosynthesis
scientists plug into algae to get electricity. literally. maybe one day we'll have slimey pool powered cars.
the enterprise boldly goes nano-scale
using some way over my head process, somebody managed to create a one billionth scale replica of the star ship enterprise.
how internet explorer 8 decides how to render your page
its a long and complicated process. one that should be pretty damned simple.
qr barcodes appear, then disappear on facebook
they were there, they didn't work, and now they're gone. i was kind of looking forward to tattooing mine on my back.
diy memory stick, complete with moss and bark
we've all thought about doing this, and one guy finally did.
get your own arc reactor just like iron man's
now you can pretend to be as impossibly brilliant and great looking as tony stark.
sony unveils new motion controller... again.. sort of
seems like somebody they bought did this already...
top gear: how to drive upside down in the sewer
you never know when you're going to need to replay a scene from the "the italian job."
the hamburger cake is a lie
the perfect cake for vegetarian portal fans. provided they have a sense of humor about meat that isn't really meat.
ForkedUpArt spoon feeds you masterpeices
hey, you can't eat with all of those forks at once. why not do something useful with them?
lock down the data on your usb drive, literally
nothing says "stay the hell out of my data" like a padlock usb drive.
spooky new zealand lady auctions off souls
why cast the spirits out when you can bottle them up and hand them off to the highest bidder for a couple grand?
new tron legacy hd trailer hits the web
this is the latest trailer, and its in hd. i can't wait until december.
brothers' wall of sound ipod speaker system
its massive. its tube amplified. its 225 pounds of ipod blasting terror.
breast milk: the new assault weapon
the best tools of destruction are the ones god gave you.
street headphones are all kinds of loud
these headphones are visually stunning, completely customizable, and a complete mystery as far as the sound experience.
new paper thin asus wireless broadband router rocks the net-verse
its impossibly thin, has a lot of incredibly useful features, and probably uses the spacial compression technology featured in the movie "ultra violet".
skinput uses your skin as an input device
chris harrison has done the seemingly impossible by creating a user interface that projects on your skin. very, very freaking cool.
rare beasts' wicks looper - acid mix makes very fast (and weird) noise loops
if your mix is missing something.. like.. say... that psychopathic murder-bot invasion vibe, then this new toy from rare beasts will give you what you want.
xcm black light xbox360 case makes your factory case look lame
its black. it glows. it has a window. its what the 360 should have looked like to begin with.
this shit is hard, yo!
i agree. it is hard. find out what one etsy store owner is doing about it.
jet turbine speakers will blow women's clothes off
ok maybe they wouldn't actually remove her clothes per se, but they do look like they could move some serious freaking air
get your jules verne on with this steampunk'd usb drive
take your gas light romance with 4 gigs of storage. its an all victorian thumb drive that you can make yourself.
tc electronic: tune all your strings at once
why the hell should you tune your guitar one string at a time? tc electronic thinks that just sucks.
creating category specific post templates in wordpress
wordpress supports an awesome template hierarchy right out of the box. here's an easy way to extend that to include category specific post templates.
get the id of the new record you just inserted
its easier than you think, as long as you're using auto increment record ids and don't mind using transactions.
chilean earthquake makes your day shorter
... but only by 1.26 microseconds. illustrated by nancy kerrigan.
honda 3r-c concept trike
honda's latest concept electric vehicle is green, three wheeled, and all futurey looking.
sony: You can turn your PS3 on now!
sony says you can play your games now, and they are sorry they thought 2010 was a leap year.
streetwars: live action internet social gaming?
forget about playing internet social networking games on the computer. play them in person. on the streets. with a water pistol.
ps3 update: sony finds the problem
sony says they found the problem. you should be good as long as you don't turn on your system for the next day or so.
ps3 consoles failing on a global scale
ps3 consoles locking out gamers with a strange black screen of death. sony claims to be working on it, but this raises a lot of questions.
february 2010
robot unicorn attack!
who doesn't like robotic unicorns magically flying through the air? and severed heads?
october 2009
how to silence that loud ass pc
your recording rig should be the last thing making more noise than the cats mating. here's what i did to shut mine up.
september 2009
cops busted playing wii during raid
its amazing what officials do when they think nobody's looking. but playing video games?
cat takes arrow through head and lives
some asshole shot a cat in the head with an arrow. fortunately the cat lived, and i hope he claws their eyes out.
cutting edge prosthetics
its amazing how they can literally hack your nerves in order to allow you control of your artificial limbs. what next?
dumpster love goes rotten
any port in a storm, but a dumpster? that's no way to treat a lady. at least get a cheap hotel and a six-pack.
stone cold thievery
need a mac? have a truck, ski masks, freinds, and 30 seconds to spare?
amazing hack for your old vcr
one of the great things about never throwing anything away is that you have things you can take apart to see how they work. here we explore what you can really get from that old vcr.
august 2009
naked lady cd player
got a bunch of mannequin torsos and an old car stereo that still rocks? have i got a project for you.
no more linux on the PS3
say goodbye to loading optional operating systems onto the ps3 hardware. so long, yellow dog.