it has come to my attention via unsolicited personal experience that at least some of the crazier and filthier orange avenue beggars have adopted a more aggressive approach. once content to shower you with the blessings of an imaginary being in the sky while attempting to invoke the change from your pocket, these proud few have updated their protocols to include genderist insults.
not very long ago it was a brief and pleasant walk to lunch that carried me through the garden of “god bless” and “spare some change?”, but it seems those days are gone forever. usurping those often nasally stimulating pleasantries is a much darker and provocative cloud of negative reinforcement. you will now be verbally punished for simply not having a cigarette, despite not being s smoker.
i have long hair. i realize that may not come as a shock to you, since this is in fact longhairedboy.com. however, my long hair is particularly beautiful and is often the envy of every man, woman, and beast in the immediate area. i’ve even considered carrying a firearm to discourage people from touching it, but i digress. the point here is that i am a man with long hair. more to the point, i identify as a man and happen to have long hair.
though not easily provoked, i typically don’t respond well to negative reinforcement. often my not-responding-well consists of trivializing the consequences in such a way as to irritate the tester. however, when confronted with overtly aggressive and obviously provocative dreck such as “cut your hair you look like a fucking girl”, things might take a slightly different turn.
location is a big factor in making many types of decisions, and location was definitely a huge factor here. the idea of not taking a shit where i eat also played a huge part in my decision not to reduce this walking sack of rotting flesh and liquor to a squirming pile of brokenness directly in front of jimmy john’s where i often order a club lulu with cheese. the club lulu is particularly delicious and features such wonders as bacon and tomatoes. imagine the terror of watching your best customer vivisect a street urchin directly outside your franchise’s front door for a moment. the loss of a regular customer’s cash flow due to emotional outbursts of violence against the sexist remarks of some poor smelly bastard can be hard to compensate for. anyone who’s done any sort of accounting work can appreciate this i’m sure.
in conclusion, let this post serve as a warning to those expecting to only have to step over people and casually dismiss blessings while ignoring solicitations. things just got a little crazier out there.